


life is harder

by Thomas_and_the_Machine



Category: Thor (Movies) RPF
Genre: F/M, M/M, but right now its just angst, it gets porny, the rating is for chapter 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-07
Updated: 2014-09-02
Packaged: 2018-02-12 03:45:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2094453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thomas_and_the_Machine/pseuds/Thomas_and_the_Machine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been that way since the day Chris came to terms with how he felt towards Tom, however much he wanted-- No, needed, to believe otherwise. It wasn't that he had a problem being into Tom, not at all; But Chris wasn't exactly in the position to have those feelings. He was married to Elsa, the woman he thought to be the love of his life until Tom Hiddleston interrupted with a bright smile, velvet voice and kind eyes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1

The sun shone brightly on his face, giving everything a golden glow and making the man look nearly angelic. His brown curls now had a tinge of red in them, and when he turned around, the smile on his face had Chris' heart skipping a beat. Everything felt right in this moment, because Chris finally had him. The man offered his hand and Chris accepted without needing to think about it, and allowed himself to be pulled into the light, as well. Side by side. Together. 

Everything was perfect, right here. It was a shame, really, that life had to be harder. It was a shame that none of this was real. 

He was dreaming again. How many consecutive nights had it been, now? It seemed any dream Chris ever had anymore was about Tom. 

It's been that way since the day Chris came to terms with how he felt towards Tom, however much he wanted-- No, _needed_ , to believe otherwise. It wasn't that he had a problem being into Tom, not at all; But Chris wasn't exactly in the position to have those feelings. He was married to Elsa, the woman he thought to be the love of his life until Tom Hiddleston interrupted with a bright smile, velvet voice and kind eyes. 

Just like every other night this week, Chris woke up before he got to kiss him, his skin cold and damp with sweat. The sheets were twisted around his legs, the blanket having been tossed on Elsa's side of the bed sometime during the night. His eyes burned, and felt sore like a bruise when he pressed the heels of his palms to them. The clock on his nightstand read 3:17 a.m. when he sat up, swinging his legs around until his feet were pressed against the floor. Chris was about to leave when he felt a small hand press against his back, the warmth almost like a branding iron. He flinched because her gentle touch hurt him, made the guilt coil tighter in his chest until his heart ached. He loved Elsa, he really did, and told her he would always be there for her long ago. Now they barely talked or even smiled at one another when alone. Chris knew it was his fault entirely, and knew what he had to do to. 

"Stay," her soft voice pleaded behind him, "Please." 

He sighed and pressed both hands to his face, tried not to let his voice shake when he answered, "I can't." 

Chris stood and left the room before he heard her cry, and before he cried in front of her, as well. Elsa hadn't been talking about Chris staying in bed that night, and Chris hadn't had that in mind when he answered her. 

\---

It had been four months since they separated, so naturally, the whole world knew by now that Chris Hemsworth had divorced his wife Elsa Pataky. Chris had gotten his fair share of 'I'm sorry''s so far, and had no doubt he would get more tonight at this party he was attending. However, there was one person he hadn't heard from yet, surprisingly enough. 

He smoothed out the wrinkles that weren't there on his button up, making sure just one more time that his outfit looked okay. This would be about the time that Elsa would show up in the mirror from behind him, give him a smile and told him he looked fine. She would be wearing a dress and be absolutely stunning, as always. Chris cleared his throat and forced his eyes away from the mirror before he grabbed what he needed and left for the party. He would see Tom tonight. 

\---

The conversation he'd been having was starting to slow down just as he caught the first glimpse. First he noticed the height, the slim build that was his and no one else's. Then the hair, darker than before but still curly and soft looking. When Chris saw his face, finally, he nearly dropped his glass. There he was. The man that had been on his mind for the past few years now, the man he fell in love with when he was already supposed to be in love with his wife. The man who's smile still made his heart flutter. Chris felt like throwing up. 

"Hey, man." Tom greeted him happily, opening his arms and hugging him. Chris hugged back, of course, and caught the familiar scent of spice and mint, and maybe something else that Tom always smelled like. It was both comforting and unnerving, to have him this close. He was so close, pressed against Chris' chest, and had _no idea_ how much Chris liked him. He had no idea that Chris was going through all of the stress of a divorce and battling with his own self because of him. 

Tom hadn't the slightest idea that Chris left Elsa because he felt it was wrong to be married to her when he didn't love her the way he loved his 'friend'. And he didn't even know if Tom was into _men_ , let alone have mutual feelings for Chris. After pulling away from the hug, Chris squeezed his eyes shut and covered his face with his hand, lips pressed in a tight line. 

"Chris, hey," Tom said gently once he noticed, and touched a hand to Chris' shoulder. "Chris, what's wrong?" 

"Migraine," Chris managed to say, his voice almost strangled as he tried to work past the searing, white hot pain in his head and behind his eyes. 

He remembers the loud music getting softer as he stumbled through the crowd, Tom leading him with a firm hold on his arm. He remembers getting up the stairs by some miracle of God, and he remembers sitting down on the edge of someone's bed, with Tom next to him. He doesn't remember, however, when he became so irrationally angry. He was angry with himself for having a weak heart and an even weaker resolve, and he was angry with Tom for being the cause of it all. 

Tom tried to do what he could, shutting off the light and switching on a lamp with much dimmer light, but when he started trying to get Chris to lay down, he was roughly shoved away with one hand. He stared for a moment, confused and silent, wondering what the problem was. The he thought, maybe, Chris was just in a lot of pain and didn't realize. So he went to try again, laying a hand on Chris' shoulder and speaking in a quiet, careful voice. He wasn't expecting Chris' hand to fly up and lock around his wrist, or for him to whip around and look at him with one of the darkest expression of anger and hurt Tom had ever seen. 

And he definitely wasn't expecting Chris to surge up and crush their mouths together in a bruising kiss.


	2. domino effect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a domino effect into a happy ending <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> because i dont write sad things. 
> 
> sorry for keeping everyone waiting for so long, but here it is. i apologize for any errors, they're all mine

They stumbled backwards, Chris catching Tom so off guard that they fell into the wall behind them. Tom landed gracelessly against it, the only thing protecting the back of his head being Chris' hand. It wasn't the brightest idea Chris had ever had, and it certainly did nothing for his migraine-- But it did a little good for his conscious. Only a little, though; So little that he knew immediately afterwards that it wasn't worth the trouble it had no doubt caused. 

He pulled away and let his head fall just above Tom's shoulder, and the hand that wasn't cradling his friend's head came up to rest against the thin lips he'd just took without permission or prelude. His eyes were squeezed shut and his breathing was labored-- His head was throbbing mercilessly. Tom, on the other hand, was simply standing there, shocked into stillness. He had so many questions, but wasn't really ready to ask any of them. It would work out a lot better if the answers to his questions just came to him in a sudden realization, but if he waited around for that to happen, he would get nowhere fast. After what seemed like a lifetime of deep breaths to calm himself, Tom parted his lips to speak, even though Chris' fingers were still weighing against them. 

"Chris, what are you--" The fingers were replaced by Chris' whole hand, and Tom heard him choke out a pitiful groan. 

And then Chris' body fell limp and it took nearly all the strength Tom had to keep him standing. He tried calling out his name, and even maneuvered them both around so he could gently slap the man's cheek a few times to get him to wake. Nothing worked and Tom cursed in frustration. 

\---

Chris woke up in a strange place he didn't recognize. The bed was big and comfortable, with fluffy white blankets and feather pillows, but it was doing nothing to quell the growing panic inside of him. He was sweating slightly from the thick covers and sheets over him, he had no idea where he was, and the last thing he remembered was… 

Oh, _god_. 

He kissed Tom last night. 

Memories of last night came back to him all at once, and he groaned as he flung his arm over his face. He couldn't remember anything after kissing Tom, and when he shifted a bit, he felt that he was still wearing the suit he'd dressed in the day before. He must have blacked out due to the migraine, something that was common enough to not alarm him anymore. And, once he peeked his eyes open to take in the surroundings again, he recognized that he was in Tom's bedroom. He'd only been in this bedroom once before. He and Tom had been in conversation, getting read to leave and go somewhere, but Tom needed to come up to his room to get something, and had Chris follow him so they could continue talking. Chris paid attention to how it looked, interested in the simple design of the place. 

But now he was uncomfortable, and left the room quickly (after haphazardly making the bed). 

He still had a bit of a headache, and the bathroom light hurt his eyes when he flicked the switch to what he assumed was the master bathroom. The water he splashed on his face was warm and made him grimace, so he tried again after getting it cold. The action was repeated a couple more times, and he felt a little bit better after drying his face off with a towel, his eyes opening easier now and the sweat having been rinsed off. When he stepped out of the bathroom, Tom was leaning against the wall, arms crossed. His right eyebrow was higher than his left, and he had a smile on his face that Chris believed was completely forced. They were quiet, just looking at each other for a moment. Then Tom gave him a cup of coffee that Chris hadn't noticed he was holding. 

"Thank you," Chris murmured, taking the mug but not drinking. Tom nodded, then motioned for Chris to follow him as he headed towards the bedroom. 

"I'd like to have a word, if you don't mind," He stated. Chris watched him move forward in the tight t-shirt and long pajama pants, hair sticking out in adorable curly tufts on his head, and found that he didn't mind at all… Even if this was one of the most awkward mornings he'd ever experienced-- Not to mention he felt bad for taking up Tom's bed last night. They walked into the bedroom, and Tom sat on the side of his bed, then patted a space next to him. Chris took the hint and sat down, glancing over at Tom with nervous eyes, wondering how Tom felt towards him after last night. "How are you feeling this morning?" 

Chris took a deep breath. He stretched across Tom to set the mug down on the dresser, then retreated back into his own space, the kiss still on his mind and making any close encounter feel weird to him now. "Better," he answered truthfully, albeit vague and probably not answering Tom's question completely. He figured he'd better elaborate more, after Tom said nothing. "Migraine's gone. Sorry for spoiling your night, mate. I feel terrible about the way I acted last night, and… It's been hard, since the divorce, and the migraines come and go at the worst of times--"

"Were you drunk?" 

Tom's question, and the fact that he'd been interrupted while deep in apology, caught him off guard. Tom had a stern look on his face, but Chris could see concern in his eyes, too. He sighed, and pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes in defeat. "No. I wish I could blame everything on alcohol, but I was as sober as I am now. Just emotional, I guess. And overwhelmed." Cool fingers wrapped around his wrist and Chris let Tom pull his hands away from his face. He noted, however, that Tom didn't move his hand from Chris' wrist, even after they'd made the eye contact Tom was obviously after. 

"Overwhelmed by what, Chris? I know I'm being forward with you, but last night still hasn't settled with me yet. You passed out cold from a migraine. And kissed me. I just--" Tom struggled, looking away as he searched for words that he knew he wouldn't find. Chris felt his ears burn in embarrassment. "I don't know what to think about all of this." 

\---

After many minutes of working up as much courage as he could muster, and thinking long and hard about how to go about his explanation, Chris confessed everything. Tom's surprise at hearing that Chris loved him was immediately recognized, and it made Chris panic a little. The way Tom's eyebrows rose, and the way his face paled a little, made Chris believe that rejection and the end of their friendship was the only outcome to this. He kept talking, rambling desperately, and found that he couldn't stop, even after he began choking up. To his own surprise, Tom put a stop to his tears and words with a kiss of his own. His lips were warm and soft and, above all else, comforting. The kiss was very different from the one they shared before. There was no stress to it, and after a few more moments of gentle coaxing from Tom's pliable lips, Chris realized he wasn't crying anymore. 

"Chris Hemsworth," Tom began after pulling away, his smile kind, "You hopeless thing. Come here." Chris was pulled into an embrace, one that was warm and one that he relaxed into immediately. He didn't know what was going to happen anymore, but he wasn't rejected, so he let himself enjoy whatever this was while it lasted. "I'm so sorry that you went through all of that struggle. I can't relate, but I know it must have been agonizing to go through." They both took deep breaths. Chris closed his eyes, waiting for Tom to tell him that they couldn't be friends anymore, that it would be weird because of Chris' feelings. Instead, he heard the soft whisper of his friend say, "But I'll take care of you now." 

\---

It didn't take long for Tom to explain his feelings to Chris. Tom never voiced his love before, because he figured Chris was happily married and not available under any circumstances. It wasn't in Tom's place before to tell Chris he had romantic interest in him. After all was said and done, however, Chris felt like crying again because he was just so happy and relieved. Instead of crying, though, he found himself kissing Tom again. And this time, neither one pulled away. Their kisses became less sweet and more passionate, and eventually driven by their building lust. Chris licked into Tom's mouth once the other had parted his lips in a moan, and not fifteen minutes later, their clothes were on the ground. A new record time for Chris and Tom both, most likely because they had been lusting for one another for far too long.

They moved to where Tom was lying on his back, head resting against the pillows, breathing heavily as Chris lowered his mouth to suck a mark on Tom's collarbone. He continued further, forcing a choked noise from Tom when he flicked his tongue enthusiastically over the man's left nipple. "This doesn't seem real," Chris murmured, kissing his way down the pale chest. 

"It doesn't," Tom gasped, laughing breathlessly, threading his fingers through Chris' long blond tresses. Chris wondered, only for a second, when his bun had fallen out, and where his hair tie had gone. 

Chris hovered above Tom's half-hard cock, admiring the flushed head and rubbing soft circles with his thumbs to Tom's inner thighs. Then he looked up to Tom, eyes bright, bottom lip caught between his teeth. "Can I try something?" he asked, and turned his head to kiss Tom's hand where it still rested in his hair. At Tom's questioning look, he followed up with, "I wanna eat you out." 

Heat shot through Tom's groin at the blunt, filthy words, and he groaned while his cock gave an interested twitch. First of all, he loved dirty talk, and hearing Chris' say such things with that low, rich timbre of his made Tom's toes curl pleasantly. "Yes," he hissed, parting his legs wider, and dropping his hand from Chris' hair to fist it in the sheets. 

Not needing to be told twice, Chris sat up on his knee's between Tom's parted thighs, and placed both hands under Tom's knee's to raise them higher in the air. Tom replaced Chris' hands with his own, holding himself open and exposed. He felt his face grow warmer as Chris enjoyed the view, rubbing his jaw tensely. "Jesus, Tom…" he muttered, and reached down to press the pad of his thumb to Tom's furled entrance. Tom's breath hitched and one of his legs jerked on it's own accord, making Chris smirk. "Let's get you on your hands and knee's for this, babe." Chris helped Tom into position, which was him resting his weight on his forearms while his ass was presented perfectly in the air to Chris' hungry gaze. Chris placed both of his wide hands on each of Tom's cheeks, rubbing and spreading them open. "You're so beautiful here, Tom. Tight and pink," He pressed the pad of his thumb to Tom's entrance again as he spoke, applying gentle pressure as he rubbed in tight circles. "Can't wait to taste you." Tom groaned and his eyes squeezed shut. 

Chris finally bent forward and replaced his thumb with his lips. He gave Tom's hole a few light kisses, almost missing the small gasp he heard above him. He then parted his lips and flicked his tongue across Tom's entrance once, twice, three times. Tom's hips bucked on their own accord, which spurred Chris into giving the tight furl a long, slow, sweeping lick. "Oh, _god_ ," Tom's entire body shuddered in response, and his arms gave out so that his face was now pressed against the mattress, making his spine arch beautifully. Chris let his palm glide over the bow in his back while he set to eating Tom out, finding that the heady taste was something he'd want to experience over and over if Tom would let him, and, judging by the desperate noises Tom was making as Chris began licking inside him, tongue nudging it's way past any earlier resistance, Chris would most likely be getting his wish. It was filthy and wonderful the way Chris was fucking Tom's hole with his tongue, but it was just making Tom want Chris' cock more and more. 

"Chris," he gasped, finally, a wavering hand coming around to rest on the back of his trembling thigh, "S-Stop for a second." A bit reluctantly, Chris stopped, pulling away and pressing an affectionate kiss at the small of Tom's back. 

"What is it, baby?" he asked quietly, placing another kiss on the soft skin so openly offered to him. Tom took a deep breath. 

"You're going to," He took a deep breath to steady himself, "To make me come if you keep that up. Please, just… Hurry up and fuck me," 

For quite some time now, Chris had been hard. His cock was throbbing and flushed red at the tip, hanging heavily between his thighs, but at hearing Tom talk like that, he bit back a groan and wrapped his hand around his prick, feeling it twitch and an ache start anew. "Fuck, Tom. Alright, let me, um-- Alright." He leaned over and opened the dresser drawer, fishing around blindly before he pulled out the lube, about a quarter of it gone. The thought then crossed his mind, for the first time, that Tom had been fucked before. The realization, frankly, angered Chris just a little. The knowledge of someone else having Tom this way made him feel irrationally possessive, even if he knew he had no right to be. 

After coating his fingers in the lube, Chris began the somewhat slow process of stretching and preparing Tom. "You ready for me, baby? You want my cock?" he rumbled quietly, bending over and kissing between Tom's shoulder blades as his index finger slipped in to the third knuckle. Tom whimpered softly and buried his face in the pillows, hands curling tightly in the sheets below him, arching his back to take the finger deeper and giving Chris the answer he was looking for. He was more than ready for the second finger by the time Chris gave it to him, his hips rocking back to meet each careful thrust, and openly moaned at the slow burn of the third finger pressing in alongside the others. Chris added more lube to his fingers as he rocked them in and out, watching with rapt attention at how Tom's pink hole welcomed the stretch so readily. 

" _Chris_ ," Tom's broken sob snapped Chris out of his admiring gaze. He blinked and finally looked up, nostrils flared with his heavy breaths. "I'm ready, I p-promise," he chuckled weakly, and Chris couldn't help but laugh at himself, too, his cheeks warming up. 

"I'm sorry, babe. I just can't take my eyes off of you," He slipped his fingers out of Tom then, watching his hole clench around nothing as Tom let out a low whine, a very disapproving noise, if Chris ever heard one. He shushed the man underneath him, patting his rear affectionately before opening the dresser drawer to rummage around as he did before. 

"What are you looking for, love?" Tom asked impatiently, bracing himself on his forearms again as he looked back towards Chris. 

"Do you have a condom? I'm clean, but I thought-"

"If you're clean, then… I don't mind, if you don't." A bashful smile split across Tom's face, wide and brilliant, a small blush creeping up on his face. Chris bit his lip and groaned, his cock giving a weak twitch at the idea of burying himself impossibly deep in Tom's hole and coming inside, filling him up and making him _his_. 

"Jesus, Tom. I love you so much," Chris shook his head and chuckled, then helped Tom up on his knees by pulling him back with a firm hold on his ribs. They both were smiling as they twisted around to share a kiss. This was slow, exploratory, where both of them took the time to memorize the feel of the others lips on their own. However, it didn't take long for Tom to let out a tiny moan, and then a longer and louder one, which prompted Chris to kiss harder and squeeze Tom's ass a little firmer. 

It was a domino effect after that, really. And after they had finished, both exhausted but more than satisfied, they laid in each others arms, with peaceful expressions and the gentlest of smiles, whispering quietly until they fell asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter 2 will have more angst plus porn. Maybe even angsty porn? Who knows. 
> 
> Also, I apologize for any mistakes. I didn't get a chance to reread and check for errors


End file.
